Tag: J. Renae Sinclair

Dear Diary: Tonight Something BIG happened

Dear Diary: Tonight Something BIG happened

In this entry from Emma’s Diary, thirteen-year-old Emma remembers her first Block 213 concert and the night Josh turned an unforgettable performance into something much more personal.


Dear Diary,

Tonight! Tonight something BIG happened.

I went to a Block 213 concert. Mom got tickets for me and Olivia.

I was so excited.

Let me just tell you.

Josh KISSED me.

It wasn’t just a peck either.

In front of a whole crowd of fans.

There were thousands of girls screaming for these guys.

Then there was me.

Standing in the front row with Olivia.

He dedicated the song to me.

He started singing it, and at the end, he jumped off the stage and came right up to me.

I know my face turned beet red.

Not because he kissed me.

But because he did it in front of EVERYONE.

Then he kissed me again when I went backstage to see him.

He seemed so happy to see me.

I was so happy to see him too.

I just got home and couldn’t wait to write about it.

The way it felt.

What I felt.

It wasn’t like before.

I can’t even explain it.

All I know is, I love him.

And I believe he loves me too.


Interested in reading more about Emma and Josh’s history? Check out more from Emma’s Diary

Want to read the full story? Read paperback, eBook or with Kindle Unlimited here: Unfinished Melody – Amazon

I Was Brave Enough to Let Them Read It

I Was Brave Enough to Let Them Read It

Tomorrow, Unfinished Melody will have officially been out in the world for six months.

And today, I came to a realization.

Last September. before Unfinished Melody was published, I wrote about why I hesitated to share my story.

At the time, I was terrified of putting something so personal to me into the hands of strangers. Now, almost a year after writing those words—and six months after actually publishing the book—I’m on the other side of that fear.

When I first started writing Unfinished Melody, I figured it would just be another story I kept on my laptop for the rest of my life.

I didn’t think I would ever publish it.

It wasn’t until I fell in love with my characters that I started thinking, I’d love for people to get to know the people I have created and grown to love so much.

So, I worked on it—usually in the evenings after work, during my boyfriend’s gigs, and on my free weekends.

For a while, I was writing, working full time, and taking online classes

If I had a long drive, I’d put myself right into a scene and have conversations between my characters out loud.

If I was in the passenger seat on the way to visit family for the holidays or another trip, I would bring my laptop along and write or edit in the car.

I worked so hard to get that story ready for publishing. Late nights, crazy dreams, and early mornings became a way of life.

Sometimes, I would wake up inspired. Other times I would go to bed inspired—and sometimes I had to get the words down before I could go to sleep because I knew they wouldn’t leave me alone until I did.

It was hard, but it was so worth it.

Eventually, I made the decision to self-publish Unfinished Melody through Kindle Direct Publishing, and then when it was finally time to hit publish… I became terrified.

For one, it was becoming real.

Two, it was going to land in the hands of people I didn’t even know.

And three, it was going to be rated, reviewed, and talked about.

That last one might have been the scariest part.

Not knowing how my story would be received scared me.

I knew the book wasn’t perfect. In fact, when I later sat down and read the paperback front to back, I found errors I had somehow missed despite all the hours I had spent editing.

I was mortified.

So I made note of them, corrected them, learned from them, and kept going. I realized that after spending so much time staring at the same words over and over again, sometimes you simply need to step away from them for a while—even if, in my case, that happened after publication.

But I realized something else, too.

Once you put your story out into the world, you no longer have any control over how someone else will feel about it.

Some people will love it.

Some won’t.

Some will connect with your characters. Some will be frustrated with them. Some might cry with them, laugh with them, get angry with them, or see a little bit of themselves in them.

And some people simply won’t connect with the story at all.

That’s okay.

Unfinished Melody isn’t perfect. It isn’t going to be the right book for every reader. And everything I learn from this book—whether through feedback, mistakes, or simply becoming a more experienced writer—will help me become better at telling the next story.

But no matter how anyone else feels about it, there is one thing no one can take away from me:

I loved writing it.

I had fun creating these characters and their world. I fell in love with them. I finished their story when for years, I was someone who was too afraid to let anyone read what I wrote.

And then I was brave enough to publish it and let complete strangers read it, rate it, review it, love it—or not love it.

So, I guess the point of all of this is for anyone out there who is like me—writing a story but afraid to put it out into the world for a bunch of strangers to read:

Don’t stop chasing your dream.

Your story doesn’t have to be perfect.

Not everyone has to love it.

You just have to be brave enough to let it leave your laptop.

Because someone, somewhere out there, is waiting to read a story just like yours. ❤️

 

 

 

Finding My Way Back (Emma’s Journal)

Finding My Way Back (Emma’s Journal)

It’s been years since I last wrote.

Three to be exact.

I stopped writing one year after I started dating him.

I didn’t really know why I stopped back then but I did.

I didn’t want to admit to myself that I thought he would find my journals and think they were silly.

Too young for a late twenties girl.

It didn’t occur to me at the time that he made me feel ashamed a lot of the time.

I realize that now.

I just couldn’t see it then.

Looking back, I can finally see it.

I wasn’t just writing less.

I was becoming less… me.

Now, I question everything.

I overthink everything.

I worry I’m annoying.

I worry I’m being childish.

I’m terrified I will offend someone.

I never used to be this way.

I might’ve been a little on the shy side, but I was confident in most things.

School.

Work.

I wasn’t a socialite like my sister Molly, but I was a people person for the most part.

Since the breakup six months ago, I’ve kept to myself more.

I’ve definitely not dated.

No interest there.

It’s hard to trust my own instincts now.

I second-guess everything I say.

Even when someone is kind to me, part of me wonders if I’ve somehow done something wrong.

The strange thing is…

I didn’t notice any of it while I was living it.

Change like that doesn’t happen overnight.

It happens one comment at a time.

One small doubt at a time.

One moment where you decide it’s easier to stay quiet than explain yourself.

Before you know it, you’ve become someone you don’t recognize.

I’m still learning to trust myself again.

Some days are easier than others.

Some days I still replay conversations in my head, wondering if I said the wrong thing.

Some days I still catch myself apologizing for things that don’t need an apology.

But today…

Today I’m writing again.

Maybe that’s how healing begins.

One page at a time.


A note from J. Renae Sinclair

Before Emma reconnects with Josh in Unfinished Melody, she has as story she’s still trying to heal from.

This journal entry offers a glimpse into that chapter of her life.

If you’d like to discover the full story, you can begin with Unfinished Melody.

Connect with Emma on her blog to learn more about her life.

If you want to start at the very beginning, you can read her diary entries.

A 1989 First Love Diary Entry Inspired by a Song That Changed Everything

A 1989 First Love Diary Entry Inspired by a Song That Changed Everything

This 1989 first love diary entry takes us back to a moment when a song, a feeling, and everything in between collided.

Sometimes a song doesn’t just play in the background…
it becomes part of a memory.


March 23, 1989

Dear Diary,

Today was the BEST day.

Mom took me to Strawberries Records & Tapes after school. I had been waiting for Madonna’s Like a Prayer album to come out, and it finally did.

I had saved enough money to get the tape, my favorite Bop magazine, and a Sweet Valley High book. I begged Mom to take me as soon as I got home from school.

She did.

As soon as we got back, I opened the cassette and put it into my jambox.

I glanced around at the posters on my wall—Madonna, a few of my favorites from Bop magazine, and even some Block 213 ones—making sure they were all ready for the best concert ever

As I suspected, I loved every single song on the album. I’ve already started learning all the words.

But one song caught me in a way I didn’t expect.

Cherish.

It’s such a happy, upbeat song, and for some reason… it made me think of Josh.

Josh is in town. I haven’t seen him yet, though.

I don’t even know if I will.

Today I was in my room singing along to Cherish like I always do, using my hairbrush as a microphone and pretending the posters on my wall were my audience as usual.

I didn’t even think about who might be outside my door.

I had my door shut.

At least… I thought I did.

At some point, I noticed it was cracked open, and I have no idea when that happened.

After the song ended, I walked over and peeked out into the hallway.

I heard voices coming from Mitchell’s room.

One of them sounded like Josh.

What if he heard me singing?

Oh my gosh. I would be so embarrassed.

Then Mitchell’s door opened.

And there he was.

Josh.

He smiled at me.

Then he walked over, hugged me, and kissed my cheek.

“Hey, Emma,” he said.

I could feel my cheeks getting hot.

He’s done that before…

But this time, it felt different.

I can’t really explain it.

But I was glad he did it.

Mitchell just rolled his eyes and told me to turn the music down a notch.

Uh oh.

Did that mean they heard me?

Josh smiled a little and said, “It’s good to see you, Emma.”

Then he followed Mitchell down the hallway.

I watched him walk away.

I don’t know why, but something felt different about him.

Not bad… just different.

But I was still really happy he hugged me.

And kissed my cheek.

And I couldn’t stop thinking about it after.


View Emma’s Playlist Blog Here

Read About Unfinished Melody Here

Listen to the song that inspired the diary entry here: Cherish – Madonna from the Like A Prayer Album