In this diary entry, ten-year-old Emma remembers a summer cookout that seemed ordinary at the time—but now feels like one of the earliest moments when she sensed something different in the way Josh looked at her, teased her, and lingered just a little too close. It’s sweet, simple, and the beginning of something she didn’t yet understand.

Dear Diary,

Tonight we had a cookout at the McGuires’ house. Our moms said it’s “the last big one before school starts,” which is just another way of saying summer is ending and I’m not ready. But anyway, something weird happened.

Josh was acting… different.

Not in a bad way.
Just… different.

He kept teasing me more than usual.
Not the “you’re annoying” kind he saves for Molly.
It was more like… I don’t know how to describe it.

Like he was trying to get my attention.

At one point, we were all on the lawn playing that beanbag toss game Mr. McGuire made. Josh and Mitchell were on one team, and I was supposed to be on Molly’s team, but she went inside to get a soda, so it ended up just me vs. the boys.

Josh kept stealing glances at me every time he threw.
And when he got a perfect shot, he grinned at me like he was waiting for me to be impressed.

I pretended I wasn’t.
(But I was.)

Then he bumped my shoulder and said,

“Better keep up, Sinclair.”

SINCLAIR.
He NEVER calls me that unless he’s teasing.

I bumped him back and said I wasn’t scared.

I was lying.
Not about being scared of losing—
I was scared because my stomach did this weird swoopy thing when he smiled at me.

Later, when we were getting s’mores, I dropped my marshmallow in the grass (of course), and Josh said,

“Good thing I’m here to save the day.”

Then he roasted one perfectly, slid it onto my graham cracker, and handed it to me with this look.

Like… that look boys give girls in movies right before they do something important.

Except he didn’t do anything.
He just smirked and said,

“Try not to drop this one.”

I pretended to roll my eyes, but my face felt hot.

I don’t know what any of this means.
Maybe nothing.
Maybe something.

But tonight, I felt… noticed.

By him.

And now I can’t stop thinking about it.

—Emma

💗 Emma’s Diary is a glimpse into Emma’s childhood memories from Unfinished Melody.
Here you can explore the world of the novel Unfinished Melody or return to Diary Entry #1

Listen to the song that inspired the story here: Please Don’t Go Girl NKOTB from the guys who sang the song: https://www.nkotb.com/